Here’s the thing about the Emmys. This is one of my favorite nights of the year, because it’s the one night of the year that both completely and totally justifies the amount of television I watch on a daily basis, and that lets me nerd out in public. Last year, unfortunately, I had to watch it 6 hours later in Australia (after finding out the winners and then drinking a bottle of wine), so to make up for it, I’m going all-out this year. In other words: I’M BLOGGING THE EMMYS, BITCHES! Is this insane and self-indulgent? Of course it is. Hold on to your hats, here we go…
- Favorites from the red carpet: Sofia Vergara, Jane Lynch, Julie Bowen, Matthew Morrison crying in a tuxedo while I died on my couch, Jon Hamm (because HAVE YOU EVER SEEN HIM EVER), Tina Fey’s ponytail, and for the first time ever, Lea Michele. She managed to step out looking like something other than a Bratz doll tonight. Also, go ahead and put me in the camp that thinks Emily Deschanel’s dress is fantastic (the hair? Not so much.)
-Okay, when I heard Jimmy Fallon had this big, star-studded opening planned, my brain prepared for Cheese Central. But that opening? Was the greatest thing I have ever seen. Props, Jimmy. Props.
-Supporting Actor in a Comedy: My prediction? Ty Burrell, even though I could have gone with just about anyone, since this category was probably the most well-stacked of the night. Eric Stonestreet, however, is straight up HILARIOUS and deserved this 100%. I’m 0-1 so far, but I’m quite sure this isn’t the last Modern Family statue we’ll see tonight. Also? Jesse Tyler Ferguson crying is turning me into straight-up mush. This is going to be a long night.
-Supporting Actress in a Comedy: Okay, everyone and their dog knows Jane Lynch is walking away with this one. Except, then she’s going to cry. And, there’s the win. Glee is going head-to-head with Modern Family for most supporting cast. She’s not crying though, just still managing to be incredibly funny. My dad laughed out loud three whole times during her acceptance speech, which, Emmys, is a sure sign you got this one right. 1-1
-Lead Actor in a Comedy: Even though 30 Rock was sub-par, my money was on Alec Baldwin because he’s almost always a shoe-in. BUT IN THE BEST SURPRISE EVER it goes to Jim Parsons. Both my 14-year-old sister and I rose up off the couch a few feet in pure happiness. Sometimes, I love being wrong. 1-2
-Lead Actress in a Comedy: My favorite is Amy Poehler, but my pick is Lea Michele because she’s on Glee, so she has hype behind her. And it goes to..Edie Falco? What? She’s humorous, but out of everyone on that list, she’s SO not the funniest. HAH even she goes up and says “I’m not funny!” I still love her as an actress, but I do not get this one at all. 1-3, and wow do I suck at this.
-I’m not really at all invested in the reality awards, but can I say it’s nice to see Amazing Race NOT win an Emmy for a change?
-Okay, way to highlight the best Grey’s Anatomy episode of the season, even though BOTH Sandra Oh and Chandra Wilson walked away without an Emmy nom for it. I know it was soapy crap most of this season, but DUDE. EMMYS. REALLY? *hops off soapbox*
- Supporting Actor in a Drama: I don’t really have a pick, other than NOT LOST. And, it goes to Aaron Paul from Breaking Bad. Do I get to count this as a point for me? I’m going to, because technically I was right. 2-3
-Coming back to Emily Deschanel, I would like to go on the record to say she is, hands down, my favorite of the Deschanel sisters (and one of my favorite actresses ever.) She’s one of the most underrated actresses on television, stunningly gorgeous, and she gets to make out with David Boreaneaz on a regular basis. Zooey, who?
-Supporting Actress in a Drama: I’m still bitter, but Christina Hendricks is awesome. So her. And she loses to Archie Panjabi, so I’m 2-4.
-Let me just say that the presenter pairings are rocking my world. Jon Hamm and Betty White? Sofia Vergara and Jim Parsons? Mariska and Chris Meloni? Emily Deschanel and Nathan Fillion? Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison? It’s like the Emmys found all of my favorite people and put them on stage together.
- Lead Actor in a Drama: Okay, I think it’ll go to either Hugh Laurie or Jon Hamm, but I want it so desperately to go to Kyle Chandler, I can’t stand it. I’m team FNL in every way. But, Bryan Cranston wins it again, and I guess I can’t argue, cause he’s really that good, but I heard in an interview somewhere that Jon Hamm and Hugh Laurie joked about offing him if he won again, which makes that shot of Hugh’s face so much funnier. I’m also no longer keeping score.
- LOST theory: The rest of the Emmy voters just didn’t get it either. So, while I’m sure it deserved at least a few of those Emmys, I feel a little bit better about myself for giving up. Plus, Jimmy Fallon is doing the world’s greatest Billie Joe Armstrong impression ever and singing about it, which is so much better than an Emmy.
-Lead Actress in a Drama: My pick is Julianna Margulies, because I love her and she killed it on The Good Wife, but I’d love to see Connie Britton win it too. And OOF. Kyra Sedgwick. Even the rest of the nominees looked shocked. Also, “Tina, can you hold my Emmy for me?” I don’t know if she was trying to be funny, but it came off incredibly bitchy. Maybe I’m just bitter about how wrong I am. All the time.
-Props to NBC for including all of the Conan late night jokes in their Year in Variety bit. I mean, it’s probably because Conan lost in the category that Jay Leno wasn’t even nominated in, but still.
-Clooney on my screen. Leave it to him to not only be funny and gorgeous, but to manage to take all focus off of himself and be an awesome human being and just HOT. Also, Betty White is giving you a standing ovation, dude. IF YOUR LIFE WASN’T AWESOME ENOUGH.
-Honestly, the Movie or Miniseries awards usually involve a whole lot of I’ve-never-even-seen-that, so I’m going to take this moment to point out that Jimmy Fallon is being uncharacteristically funny tonight, even if Ricky Gervais still out-funnied him in the few minutes he was on stage. That Mel Gibson joke? Highlight of the night.
-It’s probably a good thing I’m not legitimately live-blogging this, because then everyone would have had to sit through an awkward ten-minute pause. Movie/Miniseries still not over, but they got the True Blood cast to present, so there’s that.
-Last two awards. Oh thank goodness. This went from entertaining to a little tiring real fast. Hey! Tom Selleck’s mustache!
-Oustanding Drama Series: I love Mad Men too much to not say Mad Men. And for only the second-ish time tonight, I’m right. Now come to me, Jon Hamm.
-Outstanding Comedy Series: This is my favorite award of the night, because we all know it’s a Glee-Modern Family showdown and while I love both, my fingers are double-triple crossed for Modern Family. Glee is great, and hilarious, but I love the fact that Modern Family has managed to reinvent the sitcom and make it relevant and that’s exactly the kind of show I would kill to write for someday. And its…..Modern Family. YES. I was so right where it counted. Also, those little kids look so old all dressed up, and THANK GOD nobody is crying.
And that’s the game, folks. I was wrong, wrong, and more wrong, but I got to stare at Jon Hamm and watch Matthew Morrison and Jesse Tyler Ferguson cry on live television. This is why I love the Emmys.
After-party at Betty White’s house? I’m so in.