After a month of feeling my way around, I think I’m finally starting to find a groove here.
The best part about it is that I’m writing again. Or, more accurately, not sitting down in front of my computer and being so terrified of the blank screen in front of me that I end up watching videos of actors trying to read Justin Bieber lyrics instead. Or leaving the apartment at 1130 on a Friday night to buy out the Cheesecake Factory down the street. Which, my friends, is progress. It’s not scripts yet, but it’s words, and sometimes, you just have to settle for the words.
I think that part of that, and one of the things I didn’t really expect to happen so quickly out here, is my growing confidence. The best lesson I’ve gotten so far, from multiple people in fact, is that you have to learn how to say yes. Jump and then find your wings on the way down, or something like that. And for someone who has to know absolutely everything about what I’m doing before I do it, saying yes all the time is terrifying. But I’ve been doing it, over and over again, and I’m starting to understand how important that really is. Things move so fast, and there’s so much opportunity here, it’s utterly impossible to have reservations. Doubts have to sit down and shut up if you want to get anywhere, and those times when they don’t are always the hardest part – having to think for one second that you’re too afraid to actually get what you want is unbelievably draining. I never thought when I was younger that I would end up out here, trying to find a place in such a high-profile, crazy industry – I was the girl that used to hide in bathrooms instead of making friends – but this is what I want, so I have to keep moving anyway. People are all neurotics out here, but they make an art out of pretending not to be. Better join the club.
Other than that, I’ve done some beach-hopping, roof-sitting, and just general day-seizing as much as I can. It rained all weekend this weekend, and because I don’t have time for anything during the week, I’m trying to soak up the nice days best as I can. Two weeks ago, we took a road trip down to Newport Beach and Balboa Island, and today we spent the day with the interesting crowds at Venice Beach. There’s been salt water taffy and funnel cakes and drinks after work at the New England bar around the corner, and every day I feel more and more like I’m home. Which is the goal, right?
There’s more pictures and stories to come – I know it’s been two weeks, so there’s plenty left to tell, it’s just taking me a few days to catch up. Sunshine does that to you, you know – makes you want to sit outside all day and do nothing.